This page provides the details of Crit Juice, Episode 16, which was recorded as part of session four. This session featured special guest Ryan Gaul. Edit it to add any details you think are missing.

Listen to Episode 16


Drinking Gods Rules
In addition to the Golden Rules, the following applied to this episode:

  • "Pouring one out for the homies. Whenever a player (sic) falls to zero hit points, everyone else must drink." Submitted by @doublegxG
  • “Gaul Fall” - Whenever you drop dice you drink. Established Episode 15.

Characters

Locations

Lava Vortex in the middle of Blazestone

Crit Deck Cards

Pulled by Matt C. ‘Toasty’ – Powered by a sudden surge of magic or providence you jump in the air feet first at an enemy who doesn’t have cover or concealment yelling in an indescribable language you attempt a flurry of mid-air kicks against the target. Roll your normal melee unarmed basic plus 7 against the target. Submitted by @fakegimel

Pulled by Bryan – Your target used a bone carved back scratcher a few weeks ago and contracted ‘Boneitus’, they fall to the ground screaming in pain as their body contorts to seemingly impossible positions, while their bones within their flesh twist and warp. Your target is knocked prone and incapacitated, save ends. Submitted by Doug Cousing.

Pop or Culture References

  • Toy Story 3 – a scene in the movie where all the main characters are almost destroyed in a similar situation.
  • The Hell Mouth – a reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, another name for Sunnydale, the city it takes place in.
  • The Ghost Train from Ghostbusters 2 – Ghostbusters 2 a movie in 1989.
  • Winston – Also from Ghostbusters 2.
  • Arsenio hall – host of the Arsenio Hall Show, a late-night talk show that ran from 1989 until 1994.

I can show you the World – From the Movie Aladdin in 1992.

  • Kimmy Gibbler – the Neighbore from the Show Full house 1987 – 1995.
  • Garfield – a Comic created by Jim Davis, bout an obese cat addicted to Carbs.
  • Ant-Man ‘Hank Pym’ – Ant-Man is a Marvel comic.

SUMMARY

The episode starts with Azmar and Gub deep in debate about the past. Azmar reveals that the first hit Gub every did against his best friend was preventative as “He would have come after you.” This confuses Gub and he still refuses to come with Azmar. Gub threatens Azmar again, Azmar attacks, Doc interrupts the hit with his staff, Azmar tips his battleaxe past Doc landing a blow on Gub. Azmar is bleeding profusely from Docs hit. Gub makes sure he uses duelers assault – but it’s not a duel. Gub turns “You tried to sweet talk me for a good goddamn hour, now you listen to me sweet cheeks.” Azmar listens intently. Gub continues, “This is going to end in only one way, revenge for me and fiery death for you unless you STOP! Pronto.” Doc says “What if he stops?” Azmar only focused on Gub replies, “I’ve read a lot of stories, and they all end that way, but guess what? I’m not a book.” Gub and Azmar go back and forth deciding to continue to fight.

The Vortex moves Dar’Jjeeki and Princess closer to the center and the door to hell. With them is the Necromancer, Ghoul Anusheer. Countless scraggly demon arms are lashing out of the Hell Gate reaching up and attack everyone on the platform. Dar’Jjeeki holds his hand out to the Princess and helping her leap up to the next level. The Necromancer starts to movie again, but the hands of hell start to pull her into the gate in the center of the vortex as she screams. Dar’Jjeeki shoot a rainbow prism ball of light at Azmars face, sliding Azmar, pushing him back from Gub. Dar’Jjeeki is so excited he jumps up with a flurry of kicks and kicks a Gibbleblat brother in the face from across the whole vortex, laying him low.
Wolf sees the remaining Gibbleblat Brother in his Quarry, the remaining brother Kimlorde and Wolf exchange words. Wolf shoots the brother, hit him with a poisoned arrow and then chase breathes fire at the Seer just grazing her. Gralford wakes up, as the Seer attacks him.

Doc uses Icon of fear, Zzizereit sees the visage of Doldorn in front of him, pushing him back. Zzizereit stands up and attempts to suicide bull rush Doc, missing him flying through the air straight into the lava vortex and plummets into the Hell Gate.

Arience shoots a charm of forbiddance a howl of thunderous sound, “You may have defeated me but you will never defeat my master…” as he is destroyed.

Azmar glares at Gub, “You’re going to wish that you had never become this aggressive with me. I guarantee you that.” Gub counters, “You better get used to it cause I’m going to get a lot more aggressive, with my Great sword.” Azmar: “You’re not talking about something else?” Gub: “I’m not talking about my Tuna-can dick.” Azmar” “It’s called a Chode.” They are both confused about who is pulling out their sword and who is pulling out their dicks. Gub goes first and pulls out a ‘Tuna-Can’ sized dick. Azmar, takes out his. A Duel is declared, dick strength and dick spirit combined knocking Gub down. Azmar yells, “You just got Urethraed”. This is the best known example of Blazestone Boxing. Azmar moves to pick up Gub, “Gub you son of a bitch, we will have are own special corner in hell…” just as he turns around, Doc head butts Azmar in the face. He drops Gub and starts to slip into Hell. “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH… soooo many hands……”

The remaining Assassins notice Azmar has fallen, they all turn to run away. Wolf grabs Chase and leaps to get out of the lower ring, knocking two arrows he twin strikes, the Gibbleblat brother falls over dead.

Gralford hits the Shadow Seer, and marking her with lightning. The Shadow Seer attempts to push Gralford into Hell, Gralford looses his balance as the Shadow Seer pulls him to the edge. Gralford is allowed to hold onto the edge as the Shadow seer whispers, “Remember, you do this for someone else one day…” as the Shadow Seer lets go allowing Gralford to live and drops into hell.

Sometimes Power…. is allowing people to live.


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