The first Critjuice via the Saving Throw Show on the Twitch Channel, where the characters and players are continue 5th Edition.

Drinking God Rules:
No Drinking God Rules only the 4 Golden Rules to start.

An additional rule was added early on:
Curt Holcin: “Drink whenever the DM says yeah, that didn’t happen in response to a player’s blatant rule-bending”
Wild Magic Rule: "Until the end of the adventure the DM will roll on the wild magic table in the DM’s guide for any roll of 1 or 20 until the end of the adventure."
TKP_online Crit Success Card: Aura of Cats. You are surrounded by a swarm of adorable, but evil, kittens. Advantage against adjacent enemies. However as a result of the cheese rage-link between Agholor and Chancho these cats frighten Agholor and any time he wishes to engage advantage he will lose a hit point.)


Locations in this episode:

Jokes introduced:


Zorticus says “And no one sees it because of the fog!”

There is but one remaining goblin and he gives up quickly, throwing his sword to the ground. The party casually runs him through and Sollen moves to inspect the nobleman, to ensure that he will be okay. Sollen ensures that he will, though he is bright red, badly burned – but will survive.

The other nobles that are hog-tied renew their thrashing and muffled pleas for help. While they remained tied the party loots the corpses finding dented old swords, mouldy armor but ample amounts of high quality food. Roofer mourns the loss of his 3rd rat of this fight and pulls TB100-B12, the next rat, from his pack.

Zorticus looks over the hog-tied nobles and pretends to bite at them as they moan in fear. Pulling the severed hand that was on Chancho’s head out, he uses it to wave to the nobles and in a small voice says “hello! Hi!” and he squeezes the remaining blood, like a lemon, in the hand over their faces. Sollen, repulsed, moves to the door “Yeah, I’m gonna go check the door…” he says as he just simply leaves.

A narrow stone stairway leads down into a wine cellar. It is lit by little oil lamp sconces, but the oil lamps have been knocked over by the ogre. Below there are wine racks, however they have been indiscriminately smashed by the ogre. Sollen leaves a few wooden stonescout cards on the nobles as he passes by.

The group takes a moment for a short rest at this point. Chancho eats cheese until people tell him to move. Mack performs a song of rest. Zorticus takes a noble’s chin, takes his dagger and twirls it like a drumstick in his hand and then stabs suddenly into the noble’s mouth, piercing the apple and garlic and pulls it out. Then he eats it and proceeds to pull out the next apple and garlic. Meanwhile the noble says “You have to help us. You have to help…” and Zorticus spits in the noble’s mouth. “Gah!” The nobleman cries “I thought you were here to help! You’re as bad as these goblins!”

“I’m worse.” Zorticus whispers in his ear. The noblemen fall silent. When Sollen looks through the doorway he sees a long hall, that seems to be like a main hall, or great hall. In the distance he can hear cries for help from someone. “Zorticus! Come on!” Sollen cries out. “Guys, people need help! Zorticus, please don’t murder anybody.”

“No, no, no, I’m coming, I’ll be right there.” Zorticus says in almost a falsetto. Sollen charges down the hall with Zorticus following. His charge leads him to the clock tower.

There are four floors to the clock tower. The only person who arrives at the scene initially is Sollen. Everyone else lags behind. As Sollen swings open the door he sees inside a four floor clock tower. There is about forty feet between each level. In the center of the room Sollen sees the Duke. He is in the middle of the room because he is surrounded by three winged, red-skinned, demonic looking creatures. The duke has ropes looped around him that these impish type demons are tying around his feet. The ropes run up from where he is standing up through the middle of the second floor, up into the darkness overhead where Sollen can see massive gearwork all the way up. Massive wooden cogs and gears, meshing into each other. They strain and groan as a they work against a large wooden block that the imps have wedged into the gearworks on the lower level.

The Duke turns to Sollen with fear in his eyes. His hands are tied behind his back. “Help!” is all he manages to say. He is the defacto leader of the entire kingdom as he rules in the young queen’s name.

With a cackle an imp pulls out the wooden block. All of the gears at once leap into action. The ropes go tight around the Duke’s feet as he is yanked up off the ground and jerked into the air as the gears jump into play. He is pulled all the way to the second level. In short order he will be pulled into the gears and crushed within.
Sollen sees the main gear and realizes that if he smashes it, he will likely stop it. He rushes over to smash it with his Warhammer. As he raises his Warhammer the imps move to intercept him raising long tails that looks like scorpion tails. They land on his shoulders and lash out to sting him in the face. His blood burns, but he shakes it off as he steps forward to smash the gear. He smashes it as hard as it can, and it is enough. It spins out of control, pops off the axle it is on and the giant wooden gear hits the ground rolling up against a wall and wobbles to a stop.

The entire works shudder to a halt as the rest of the group enters the scene. Chancho sees the imps and runs up at them. Striking with Ratfang it slashes through the imp nearly cutting it in twain. Compressed cinders and blood make up the internal bits of the imp which begin to fall out, burning through its torso killing it. It flashes and bits of cinders float into the air. The other repulses the non-magical sword and laughs, all the while its cohort dies beside it. Chancho then ducks behind Sollen.

Mack creates a minor illusion of a sound. He looks at the scene and is inspired by the moment. He sees the Duke tied up, and performs his illusory song. Mack’s voice reverberates off the walls “Fifty shades of dnd. Duke’s tied up, gotta set him free. Everybody! He’s probably got to pee! So come with me!” His words and the disembodied nature of them so distract the imps that they find it difficult to attack.
Agholor swoops into the room off his rage. He’s calmed down but he’s looking for his next up. He comes around the corner and sees Chancho engaged with an imp. He rages again and bear hugs the imp. The imp scratches and claws at his arms as he crushes the blood from the cinders that formed it.

Zorticus approaches the manherder and shoots a fifteen foot wall of fire at the imps. The fire washes over these fire-immune imps and they looks somewhat better than they did before. The ropes that the imps were holding begin to burn up towards the Duke.

Roofer dashes in and approaches the one with the least amount of danger. He says “Hey imps. Look, here’s the thing. There are six of us, technically seven if you’ve been paying attention… and there’s an elf. So. If you really want to do this, I don’t think you do… but we’re a bunch of adventurers. Here’s our card, we’ve got plenty of them. They’re professionally made by our friend named Scribe. What you should really do is join up with us to become adventurers. Now, if you want to be adventurers just like us. Be strong adventurers, brave adventurers, kind adventurers… and adventurers get plenty of gold. So join up with us, because that’s just what we do.” Of course, all of this is translated by Chancho. “I’ve worked with infernals in the past. I’ve worked with imps in the past, several even as pets of my own on my shoulder. It’s True!” Roofer hands the imps the card. The imp looks at it inquisitively and turns the card over where it also reads “also speaks infernal!” in infernal. Zorticus farts, the imp looks around and Roofer’s words and the scent have worn over the imp who joins the party. The imp extends its hand to shake and when Roofer takes it in his own an explosive blast of darkness descends upon both of them and a deep and booming voice cries out “A PACK HAS BEEN STRUCK!” The imp flutters to Roofer’s shoulder, settles down and looks at him with a confused “henh?” expression.

The remaining imp, injured, flees, as the last rope burns through on the Duke. He begins to fall 40 feet towards his demise as Sollen, working with Chancho and Roofer, make their way under him and he falls into their arms.
Zorticus, before Sollen and Chancho and Roofer all gathered to catch the Duke had placed his dagger point up under where the Duke would fall. He fetches his weapon and in a childlike voice says “awwwww, shucks! Guess I’ll have to just do something terrible, tomorrow!”

The Duke, in his upper 60s, says “What? Who?” He looks up at Sollen, making eye contact he wheezes “Queen Sophie! They took her. They took her to… and she’s so young.” Sollen drops the Duke and dashes from the room towards the castle.
The Duke, from the ground, says “he knows it’s a flying castle, right? Up there!” Chancho whistles “Dumb fuck, come back this way!” and Sollen returns.
The group looks up to the top of the clock tower and decides to drink their potions as they climb up the clock tower. They get to the top and they stand upon the slate roof of one of the parapets. There is a giant clock on the face of it, almost Big Ben style. About 15 feet overhead is the bottom of the citadel. At this height it is cold and the wind is blowing. Drops of rain lash the party and dark mist materializes, coalescing into a dark and ominous form.

Roofer drinks his potion and he begins to detect the thoughts of everyone around him.

Chancho drinks his potion and is suddenly youthened before the group’s very eyes.

Mack drinks his potion and gains the strength of a giant.

Sollen drinks his potion and his body dissolves into the air into incorporeality.

Zorticus drinks his potion and can suddenly communicate with animals that will do his bidding.

Agholor drinks his potion and his throat seizes up as the cursed potion begins to take its effect…

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