This page provides detail about Crit Juice, Episode 6, from recording session two.

Listen to Episode 6

Drinking Gods Rules

  • Drink every milestone (every two encounters). Submitted by Abby Arcane.
  • Drink whenever you have to consult the rulebook. Submitted by Thomas R.
  • Drink whenever the players get lost in a dungeon. Submitted by VindiKShawn.
  • Finish your drink on an extended rest. Submitted by Abby Arcane.
  • Lowest initiative roll takes a drink. Seth R.




  • "Traitor" - Bloody an ally. Reward: "Go, go, go!" Give a party member a free move action on your turn. Unlocked by Gralford, for saving Doc's life (and electrocuting him a wee bit in the process).

Crit Fail Cards

  • Just as you are about to attack, you are suddenly overcome with an agonizing itchy sensation. It looks like the last room you stayed in must have been infested with bedbugs, which are now swarming over your body. In horror, you drop whatever is in your hands to scratch furiously at your bites. Take a -2 perception checks due to the irritating nature of your condition. Condition ends when you take a 10 to bathe." Submitted by Alex S. Rolled by Tom Fonss, for his character, Gub.


  • Daniel is good at math (he correctly calculates the cubic foot volume of a million gelatinous cubes)
  • "Tom Fonss' character, Gub" - David goes to attack the defender, and in his eagerness, he refers to the player: "it attacks Tom" but then tries to cover his mistake with "it attacks Tom…Fonss' character, Gub." This is repeated by everyone throughout the session.
  • "In my quarry" - Brian continues to say "in" rather than "as"
  • Gralford is not a dwarf - this one is pretty constant ("his well-manicured fingers grab the edge," "this is the first dwarf Dar'Jjeeki has ever seen")

Pop or Culture References

  • Ghostbusters 2 - a comedy film from 1989, in which the spirit of a wizard named Vigo attempts to reincarnate into a new body. And there's a lot of pink slime.
  • a snow globe - a small ornament made from a small glass or plastic dome attached to a base, filled with water and small plastic beads or flakes that slowly fall through the water like snow when you shake it.
  • Samwise Gamgee - the hobbit gardener employed by the Baggins family in the Lord of the Rings series of books & films; one of the main protagonists of the story
  • Krang - a cartoon villain from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated TV shows
  • Church/Synagogue/Temple - places of worship from different faiths
  • "Legends of the Hidden Temple" - a children's TV game show from the 90s
  • "The Secret World of Alex Mack" - a kid's TV show from the 90s, in which a preteen girl is splashed with a chemical that turns her into a superpowered mutant.
  • "Inside the amber is Dino DNA!" - a quote from the 1993 film "Jurassic Park"
  • "Mad Men" - an AMC TV show from 2007 about advertising executives in the 60s
  • "Secret of the Ooze" - the subtitle for the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
  • "Day of the Tentacle" - a 1993 Lucasarts video game
  • Eureeka's Castle - a late 80s/early 90s kid's show starring a puppet named Eureeka.
  • "I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!" - a quote from the 1939 feature film, "The Wizard of Oz"
  • "Season Two of 'Buffy'" - a 1997 TV series called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer;" Gary probably meant season three, which ends with the protagonists fighting a giant snake creature.
  • "Frat Haze" - College fraternities (though maybe not Phi Beta Kappa, mentioned later in the campaign) are infamous for their heavy drinking, often as part of initiating new members ("hazing").
  • "I pity the fool!" - a quote from the 80s TV show "The A-Team" character, B.A. Baracus (played by Mr. T)

Riding into the pass and expecting to find Brennet, the Adventurers instead find a moraine of broken rock and wilted, dissolved vegetation. Some distance ahead, they can see various buildings floating at different heights (up to 600 feet in the air), all jammed and crushed together. The DM has a great time bewildering the players with what turns out to be a giant gelatinous cube that is slowly absorbing everything in the pass. As they stand and gape, a barrel comes bouncing out of the rear door of a house that is just being absorbed. Doc casually stops it with his foot, and they see that "HELP" is written on the barrel. Gralford gives Dovana the end of a rope, and the Princess is delighted that the party is going to boldly enter the ooze. "We can conquer anything, right Arience?" Gralford repeatedly demonstrates how, as a dwarf, he is perfectly adapted for dungeon exploration, as he takes the lead throughout this episode. Too bad the party is almost never in a dungeon again…

Wolf is carrying the crystal key, which the wielder (or any nearby ally that the wielder grants the power to) can use to communicate with their allies telepathically and also (once a day) teleport.

They proceed through several buildings, which have all been crushed together. Inside a ruined temple, they encounter an amber ooze. Gralford proceeds to rush around, marking opponents and giving them penalties to attack anyone else, though to everyone else it seems like he's just running around the periphery of the fight. Gub goes to attack and drops his weapon as bedbugs swarm over his reptilian body. Dovana throws away her daggers. Doc causes a glowing sword to appear over the ooze. Dar'Jjeeki blasts the ooze into two, doubling the number of opponents. A pseudopod of slime emerges from a hole in the floor, grabs Doc and yanks him through the hole into a turbid well of slime that begins to digest him. Dar'Jjeeki is ambushed by a gelatinous cube. Gralford jumps onto another platform and shoots lightning down into the hole, yanking him out of the well of slime and electrocuting him a little in the process. Gub knocks one of the amber oozes into the hole, but it slides right back again. Wolf grants the crystal's power to Dar'Jjeeki, who teleports out of the cube to safety. Dovana breathes lightning onto the cube and one ooze. Doc yanks out blacksmith hammers and throws them like Thor. Arience casts a "Bigsby" spell and squeezes the pseudopod with a giant spectral force hand. The pseudopod elongates and extends itself to attack Tom Fonss' character, Gub. Wolf shoots it as it strikes Gub, grabbing him and dragging him to the edge of the hole (Gralford's shielding ability reduces the damage).

Since Dar'Jjeeki is gone, the cube turns to absorb Arience instead. Gub breathes fire onto an ooze, boiling it away, and then throws the clockwork bomb, not knowing when it will detonate. Dovana throws away some more daggers, and then hits the pseudopod, forcing it to retreat. Dar'Jjeeki freezes and shatters the gelatinous cube. Arience pops the last ooze like a bad pimple with a magic missile.

Gralford leads the party into the next room, through a hole from the temple into a wealthy villa. From there, they walk up to the entrance to "Drink Up, Sucka!" Inside, they find a gleaming array of taps and a brewery. The group rests in the tap room. Then they hear the incredibly overweight, half-naked dwarf, Mr. T, as he backs into the room dueling with a pseudopod of ooze. Dar'Jjeeki blasts it, and Mr. T scoops the severed end into a brewing vat. Mr. T immediately starts to flatter and hit on Princess Camellia, and Dar'Jjeeki gets very defensive. Mr. T hugs him instead, and Gub joins in. Gralford is uncomfortable, and Mr. T calls him over for a hug, too.

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