This page details Crit Juice episode 8, recorded as part of session two.

Listen to Episode 8

Drinking Gods Rules

  • Drink every milestone (every two encounters). Submitted by Abby Arcane.
  • Drink whenever you have to consult the rulebook. Submitted by Thomas R.
  • Drink whenever the players get lost in a dungeon. Submitted by VindiKShawn.
  • Finish your drink on an extended rest. Submitted by Abby Arcane.
  • Lowest initiative roll takes a drink. Seth R.


  • Dovana
  • Arience Everstorm
  • Franklin "Wolf" Lewis
  • Doc Keratin
  • Gralford Stoneshield
  • Dar'Jjeeki
  • Gub
  • Princess Camellia
  • Mr. Turnale
  • Pelmormalleon

Princess Points
Gub earns two Point for saving the Princess from the Black Slime. 1 for saving her, 1 for doing it in style.

Crit Fail Cards

  • Your mind wanders to your mothers visious judgement. You can never do anything right for that woman and she would verbally abuse you with each failure. With this most recent failure, you can hear her screaming inside of your head and start the sad psychological mechanism of loathing yourself. Reduce your Will defense by 1. Submitted by: @fakegimil, Rolled By: Daniel for Arience.
  • You find a quarter stick of Dynamite, it explodes in your hand, now you have no left hand. Negative 2 to dexterity skill checks unless you are a lefty then it's negative 4 Dexterity check until an extended rest. Submitted by: Jess McKay, Rolled by: Brian for Wolf.
  • You completely miss your opponant and knock yourself into the nearest Brazer, your character burns off their eyebrows and their mustache for ten points of damage. Submitted by: Jennifer H. Rolled By: Matt for Dovana


  • the mountain pass between the site of Brennet and Blazestone inside of the Giant Gelatinous Cube

The Players take their shirts off and pants? and discuss the Calendar "Dark Man Shapes"

Pop or Culture References
"None Shall Pass" - from the Lord of the Rings.
Station - from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

While floating on the ooze wave, Dar'Jjeeki saves the raft with a bunny kick, and earns a "Gub Point". Gralford falls into the river of ooze, as the make shift rafts manage to make it into the Keep in the middle of the Gelatinous cube the keep continued to sink into the slime. Gralford soaked in Alcohol is able to last until Doc was able to rescue Gralford.

Inside of the Keep the group finds a bound Elemental of Flame, then then fall into the middle of the keep, where the Adventurers find Pelmormalleon, the Mad Master of Slime, at the center of the ruins of Brennet. Described as a mad wizard, dressed in purple robes, with a circlet of green slime. He has a tiny Gelatinous Cube as a pet.

Pelmormalleon recognizes Gralford and thinks he is his uncle Rocklon Stoneshield. Gralford claims the Wizard killed his Uncle and immediately attacks. Dar'Jjeekki uses Dazzling Ray for the first time against the wizard.

Arience and Wolf crit fail in a row and Thom the player takes his pants off. Pelmoralleon releases a death wave which damage, when Gralford drops a daily backlashes and as the wizard dies he brings forth the black slime. The black pudding surges forward and engulfs Dar'Jjeeki, Gralford, Dovana, and the Princess. As the team attacks the slimes, melee attacks are spawning more slimes.

Thom takes his pants off and Gub is able to kill off the last of the Slime, rescuing the princess and earning 2 points in her favor. The slime cries out one more time "SLIMMMME" as the whole Gelatinous Cube melts around them. The town of Brennet is left in shambles except for the tavern Drink Up, Sucka! which is left intake. There among the ruins are 40,000 of gold pieces.

Previous episode: Episode 7 | Next episode: Episode 9
List of episodes
Table of Contents