This page provides the details of Crit Juice, Episode 9, which was recorded as part of session three.

Listen to Episode 9

Drinking Gods Rules
In addition to the Golden Rules, the following applied to this episode:

  • "Whenever you reach exactly zero hit points, take a shot." Submitted by Jesse, AKA Kilojegs, AKA GMBoos.
  • "Everytime someone says the word 'Princess,' you must all toast her with a drink." Submitted by @dunkbailey
  • "When a player uses an action point, that player must finish their drink before they can use that action point." Submitted by @winterwolves
  • "Drink whenever someone you thought was a friend turns out to be a bad guy." Submitted by @skeet290
  • "Drink whenever a role-playing conversation goes poorly for the player." From @VindiKSean.




Crit Deck Cards

Crit Fail Cards

Princess Points
Dar'Jjeeki 5(6)
Arience 4 (5)
Wolf 2
Gub 3
Gralford 1
Doc 0 (-1)

  • Arience gives the Princess some cloth armor and gets a 1 point.
  • Doc condescends to the Princess and loses a point bringing him to negative 1.
  • Dar'Jjeeki makes effort to smooth everything over with the sword and he earns an additional point.

Gary misses the game and he is made fun of the whole session.
Honer - A Half Boner
Chaos Bolt for Dar'Jjeeki (Matt C. never rolls an even number) never jumps.

Pop or Culture References
Its my Hair Dryer and I need it – From Space balls.
He has the high ground - From Star Wars Episode 3.
Not like this - From The Matrix
Secret stuff - From Space Jam

In the distance Blazestone's cloud is spotted as the group prepares to leave after buying items from a passing merchant.

As the Princesses clothes were previously destroyed, Arience gives her cloth armor earning him a princess point. Dar'Jjeeki offers a magical ‘Heart Touch’ bracelet where in Dar’Jjeeki and the Princess can feels each other’s heartbeat. The gesture comes off a little strong and Dar’Jjeeki is not rewarded with a Princess point. The Princess continues to look for a weapon. On the guidance of Doc (The blacksmith) Dar’Jjeeki offers her a short sword, something she can handle. She rejects the weapon as too small. Doc attempts to convince her, however she rejects his assistance and Doc ends up condescending about the sword losing him a point. Dar’Jjeeki smooths everything over and gains another point.
Dovana finds a manifest from the ship, with one item on it. Gub wants to get to Blazestone to figure out what is going on. The name on the manifest is written in ancient Draconic, which everyone can read but Dar’Jjeeki. They find the name Asmodious – the lord and leader of hell. Dovana believes it is not the real Asmodious but a code name for someone in town.

After riding Northwest for a few days, they travel over the Red River. Gralford has informed the group that today is 'Life Day', and cannot speak or take any action. Approached by a man in a red cloak approaches the Adventurers, baring the mark. The Abyssal Plague is infecting him and dies in front of them. The Minions of the Veiled Eye and the Archer of Arune attack. Gub almost falls into the lava, and decides save himself first.

The Archer is described as a Lava Goblin. Azmar the Ashmaker has sent the Veiled Eye to attack Gub. Dar'Jjeeki bluffs to convince the Adventurers that his eternal chalk has special powers, only Wolf, Gub and the Princess believe him. Dar'Jjeeki draws a happy bunny on all his allies, including an unwilling Dovana.

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