There are many ongoing, recurring jokes in Crit Juice.

  • "Actionnnn Poiiinnnt!" - Shouted whenever someone uses an action point (cues one of the 4 golden drinking god rules). Must be followed by Dar'Jjeeki's "Make it count!" if he still has seeds of chaos to grant.
  • "… and the other one's A CRIIIIIIIIIIT!" - Wolf is constantly rolling critical hits, usually with his twin strike power, and this is his typical war cry when he does so.
  • Bahamut's Breath - A mystery drink that the DM brought to the table for the players to drink. "It's like…a minty dick, being shoved down your throat." "Well…that's not bad, could be wor—" "Yeah, onion dick!"
  • "Birds!" - Dar'Jjeeki has a terror of birds, specifically birds of prey, because he lived as a rabbit for a century and birds EAT rabbits.
  • Blazestone Boxing - A Blazestone sport that is a literal Dick Off. Appears in: Episode 13, Episode 16
  • Combat Advantage - Everyone knows you get combat advantage with no pants on. Now if Tom drops trou at table, Gub gets combat advantage.
  • Dar'Jjeeki's Bluff Checks - Dar'Jjeeki's default non-attack maneuver is to bluff enemies, allies, and pretty much everyone else. Much like Gub likes to solve things with long-winded intimidation checks, Dar'Jjeeki has gotten out of several tense situations with incredibly high and peruasive bluff checks.
  • Dark Manshapes - the name of the players' swimsuit calendar. First mention: Prologue 1
  • Dark pixies - First seen assisting Prince Ezra in shipping the artifact to Azmak, then again dancing at Azmak's club in Blazestone, and later seen giving David the weirdest boner, the Dark Pixies are the Blood Bog's answer to that girl in high school who everyone thought was super hot and so continental because she was kinda goth and "knew a guy" who could get you weird E pills or something. The Dark Pixies have a particular grudge against Doc Keratin and seem to exist to fuck with his life as often as possible. There's a running joke that the DM has a thinly veiled obsession with goth women, that comes out in the desires of various NPCs for these tiny pierced and tattooed women. (also, nubile). Every dark pixie is named after a Suicide Girl, from a list David collected "for research."
  • Dick garnish - Gub likes to intimidate foes by claiming their genitals and using them as swizzle sticks. Matt Buchholtz refers to this as "the traditional dick garnish." Mentioned in Episode 35
  • Dick Strength/Dick Spirit - A measure of one's proficiency with their member, represented by rolling 2 D20's: the game mechanic used in Blazestone Boxing, AKA a dick fight. Mentioned in Episode 16, Episode 26, Episode 38
  • Dopesauce - #dopesauce Daniel invariably refers to Arience as "dopesauce" whenever Arience is described. Used within the first minute of the first episode. First mention: Prologue 1
  • Dovana's 'booze pigeons' - Oh look! A lovely letter from Dovanna! "Uh, guys, Gub is -kind- of illiterate"
  • Dragonborn courtship - Running joke about how Gub sweet-talks Dovana. Examples: "If there's ever a time when we need to stop slitting throats and making babies, you better believe we're gonna make babies!" "I like my women barefoot and pregnant. You! Take off your shoes; I'll take care of the rest." "I'm a'gonna get you pregnant, girl!" "Would you stop talkin' and let me lick those dragonborn lips that were meant to be licked - you know what I'm talking about!"
  • Finding character voices - Both Gary and, in the beginning, Matt Cook get ribbed for their difficulty in finding the right "voice" for their PCs. In addition, DM David Crennen has great difficulty coming up with distinct voices. First mention for Matt Cook: Prologue 1,
  • Gary's drinking - the group gives Gary a lot of shit, not least of which is about his frou-frou drinking habits. In Episode 1, it was that he was drinking coconut water. In Episode 2, it was that he was drinking gluten-free beer.
  • Gaul Fall - Special guest star Ryan Gaul had a hard time keeping his dice on the table when he rolled, so now whenever a players dice roll off the table, people shout "Gaul Fall!" It is now also a Drinking God rule that goes into effect in any session when there are three or fewer additional Drinking God rules: take a drink whenever a Gaul Fall happens.
  • "Gentleman" - As the players get more drunk, they get more polite about their opponents/targets, continually referring to them as "this gentleman," as in "I hit this gentleman for 40 points, ongoing 12, and slide him three squares into this spiked pit trap." Gary, Brian, and special guest Ryan Gall have all done this.
  • Giant Bats - Gub has fought giant bats even in his backstory, and the party keeps encountering more of them. Usually Gub calls dibs on the giant bat's dick as part of an intimidation check (see "Dick Garnish") Mentioned in Episode 35
  • Gralford isn't really a dwarf - "Dwarf…ish, on his mother's side." -Noomi. Because dwarf miniatures are always fighters with battleaxes, Gary's mini is actually an elf with a sword that Ian of Irontusk Miniatures Painting has converted into dwarvishness. This quickly led to the general consensus of the rest of the cast that Gralford is a dwarf in name only. This is supported by his distaste for shots, use of a sword instead of an axe, preference for ciders and gluten-free beers, his inability to deal much damage, and proclivity for rolling natural 1s. Also Gary never uses the dwarf voice. Episode 1
  • Gralford never deals much damage - Gralford, despite his dwarven ancestry, rarely deals much damage. Ever. If he does over 20 HP of damage in a single action, Matt Buchholtz must take a shot of whisky from the "Gralford Glass."
  • Gralford's voice (or lack of it) - Gary is almost never prepared to speak in character. Episode 1
  • Gralford's soft hands - the group had a charisma roll off to see who had the softest hands. To no ones surprise Gralford won. Arience has the roughest hands because he either never learned how to take care of them or he doesn't have access to his expensive lotions. Episode 54
  • Gub's Intimidation Check Solutions - Gub defaults to intimidation much of the time. On multiple occasions, Gub has ended combat through long-winded stories culminating in an intimidation check. See Lloyd the Giant Head and Pete. First use of intimidate: Prologue 1
  • Gub's Stories - "Just as it was about to take a bite outta my dick…" "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS NEARLY GETTING YOUR DICK BITTEN OFF?" "Look, I had my dick bitten off - almost - a lotta fuckin' times"
  • Gub's Tuna Can Dick - A running gag about the short length and huge girth of Gub's member. Used against Azmar the Ashmaker in Blazestone Boxing. Also, made an appearance at #PUBKNIGTS when Tom Fonss taped a tuna can to his boxer-briefs and dropped trou. Mentioned in Episode 13, Episode 14, Episode 16, Episode 54
  • Handsome Gary - the players frequently interrupt game play to lose themselves in Gary's dreamy eyes. First mention: Prologue 1.
  • "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - How do you call a phase drake? The same way you call the Thundercats to action.
  • "I'm from there!" - Doc's standard response when people talk about Mariposa, and his gentle reminder that the Princess is not the only one from the Holy City. It's also what he mutters every time he heals any party member. Mentioned in Prologue 2, Episode 25
  • "In my quarry" - When Wolf uses the Ranger class feature "Hunter's Quarry," there is a very good chance that Brian will use it incorrectly, by saying that his target "is IN his quarry" (rather than "is his quarry"). It is worthy to note that the first time this class feature was used, it was phrased correctly! This was used in a Crit Deck card, when Wolf and all of his opponents were teleported to the Lewis family quarry.
  • IntoIt - After bringing in a list of names for Dark Pixies pulled directly from the Suicide Girls website (NSFW), it was deemed that DM David Crennen was really into Alternative Models and therefor Dark Pixies. This is more recently abbreviated by just saying "#IntoIt."
  • "Is this a duel?" - On a few occassions members of the party have had a personal grudge to settle with a villain, and have wanted to duel them head to head. The sacred rules of dueling require that no one else assist or interfere with a duelist in any way. This usually goes poorly for the party's duelist, leading them to call off the duel or bicker about exact rulings and what consitutues a "duel". First mention: Episode 13. Also mentioned in Episode 14, Episode 16, Episode 33
  • "I was in a really dark place for a while." - An extended riff, where the players all imagine what Lloyd the Giant Head's life would be like once he shuts up and becomes a normal citizen of Mariposa for a few minutes. Then they shrug and blast Lloyd to goo. Episode 2
  • "Look for it in the Crit Juice Merch Store!" - A running joke with imaginary items are described for fans to purchase. Examples: the GFH T-Shirt.
  • "Loot that body!" - Sung to the tune of 90's techno act Technotronic's radio-friendly dance song "Shake that Body," this is sung by the party (and done in excellent harmony without Brian) when they've ended combat and are about to take the dead people's stuff. You know. Like you do.
  • Matt Buchholtz, gourmand - Matt has a discriminating palate with a taste for the finer things in life. You know, like horse meat.
  • "North." - The direction of pretty much every location and quest in CritJuice is north of the party's current location.
  • "Part the veil of reality…" - David's cue to the party to STFU and get things going (and get him a beer). How every record session of Crit Juice starts.
  • "Roll for child abuse" - Remember that time Gralford punched a 7yr old half-orc in the face? Prologue 1
  • "Sippies" - Daniel's suggestion that "we can also take sippies on our own" when not required to drink by the drinking rules. This often leads to disaster. First mention: Episode 1
  • "SLIP THE SHOT CLIP AND SHUT THE SLIP SHOT CLAP!" Or is it "SLIP THE SHOT CLIP CLAP SHUT? SLAP THE SLOT CLIP, SHUT THE SLIP SHOT CLAP!" - "You kept firing those guns!" "You kept jingling those keys at me!" The adventurers had to shout this dialogue to capture pixies in the blood bog, and they continue to yell it every time a pixie appears.
  • Tom's favorite joke - told by Daniel Acker in Episode 1, which immediately loses Crit Juice its otherwise large country music fan demographic.
  • "We all stand up!" - A reference to a line spoken by Sidney Poitier's character in the film Lilies of the Field, repeated in unison by the whole cast whenever a player announces that his character stands up as a move action: "I stand up." "WE ALL STAND UP!" First mention: Episode 1
  • "Welcome to the <BLANK> podcast!" - the players and DM will go off on tangents about different films and TV shows. They use this phrase to call attention to the fact that they're straying away from the game. References so far: Skulls, Simpsons. First mention: Prologue 1 ("The Skulls")
  • "We're all from different places." - First observed by Daniel Acker, the Crit Juice crew is from different places, but so are the characters they play. This is sometimes used to explain their diversity, ignorance of local customs, or just a random drunken aside. Mentioned in Episode 5, Episode 25, Episode 26, Episode 38
  • Wolf's turns take FOREVER - Shit, Gub's almost had a chance to sober up (everybody gives Brian grief for how long his ranger's character's actions take to resolve, in part because he has so many immediate interrupt abilities).
  • "Wolf's Wolf is Chase?" - Brian's confusing choice of name for Wolf's wolf: Chase.
  • "Y'all like dessert?" - The official motto of Thunderblood, created when Daniel Acker failed a diplomacy check when Arience returned home to Thunderblood. First mention: Episode 25
  • "You know he's a rabbit, right?" - Arience gets frustrated that his main rival for Camellia's attention is a hengeyokai who turns into a bunny. Episode 1

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